I so seriously struggle with feeling left out. Sometimes it’s my imagination, sometimes its not. This weekend, it wasn’t.
Sharptop was a great time to hang out with my high school friends, and I had so much fun watching them learn and have a blast in such a beautiful place. I heard more than once that they didn’t wanna leave. SO great.
While I am fully aware camp is all about their experience, not mine, I can’t be with them every second. Nor is any leader expected to be with their kids constantly, that’s just impossible. You need a few minutes each day to yourself, and your friends.
During “leader” times when we had a few minutes with out kids, those were probably my least favorite part of the weekend. The people who I am supposed to be best friends with make me feel the worst. I always end up feeling like there is someone better they would rather be talking to.
I’ve had this feeling more than once in groups of Young Life leaders. From Quest, to last year, and still now. I’ve gotten closer with a couple people, but I still feel like my friend wouldn’t care if I were there or not.
How can we love kids when we don’t love each other well?
If that’s how it should be, maybe I’m not called for this.
Part of why I partied so much last year was because those were the people who wanted to hang out with me. They included me and were my friends. When you act like I’m not even in the room, and don’t want me to hang out with you and make it obvious, why would I? Just a thought.